I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
