So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
