remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize