I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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