Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
