You made me cry and you don't even care
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize