11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
foreskin is a definite game changer
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
