Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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