I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
