I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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