I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
