I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I cut my penus on the lid.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
