Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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