im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize