I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
