Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
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Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
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i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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