Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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