hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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