Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
