I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We need to get me chipped asap
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
