i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
