Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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