I molested 6 butterflies tonight
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
