So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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