What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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