Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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