Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
