She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
