So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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