I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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