Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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