i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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