ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
