the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
