i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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