Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
