He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
