even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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