K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
