nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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