Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
