Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
