piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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