You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
