I heard we made out
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
