Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
