don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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