I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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