i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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