my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly