i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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