I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
