I hate your face
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
