i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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