Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize