So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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