I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
