All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
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