Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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